Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
porn star boner night. come get it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
