found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
