My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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