At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
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