He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize