Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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