Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
