I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Shame is for Republicans.
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