Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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