It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
