I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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