Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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