is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
