you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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