I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
