Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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