nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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