I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's never too late to be topless.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize