Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
