what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
