Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
