508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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