Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
