On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
