i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
