New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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