Can Purell be used as lube?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
