i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
