ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
