I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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