This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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