I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
