It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
