In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
