What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
