butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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