i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
