I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
