Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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