these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
