They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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