I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Panties = found
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
