he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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