thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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