arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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