Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
