Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
