Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
