i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize