i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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