The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize