Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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