What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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