but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
