Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
