textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
