In the future we'll all be gay
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You have to summon your inner elephant
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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