Say something about gay babies.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize