dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it penis luge time yet?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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