So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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