I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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