is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
