He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
